Hey there Sir.
This week you have offered the task of taking time to stop and to be still, at one with our pup self.
As you know I have a very busy mind. I am a task focused pup and to stop and just breath, listen and be in the present as you taught in the Sirius Pup First Collar Mind exercises has not been the easiest task.
I have busy days and it really does take persistence and focus to “stay in the now”. This week I have had 2 nights where I have taken the time to curl up and to focus on the present. I’ve found your instructions to acknowledge the thoughts a great start for me but very challenging.
My mind flits from idea to idea and I sometimes get distracted as I think of something from the day or a task I wish to do later on.
The first few times I have done this exercise I found it very difficult to focus…
As it has been I have received my new neoprene sleep sack that I ordered from Mr S Leather. This offered a great chance to focus in not only on my sensations but to have time to focus on a task.
First task was to buy some nice soft coloured rope that will be used to help enclose me when I am head to toe in my suit.
It was great to be able to go to Bunnings, choose the rope I wished, get the twine needed to finish the ends of the rope and to then set forth to prepare them for my sack.
I found the task interesting yet not the normal “high level” thinking I need to do at work. This was simply application of a set task, much like the polishing of my leather or rubber catsuit.
With the rope I was able to simply just be present with the task. Measuring lengths, cutting and then whipping each end nice and tight so it no longer frays.
I took pride and pleasure in making two lovely blue ropes, each a little shorter to go with my sleepsack.
Satisfied with the task done I decided it was time to christen the new neoprene enclosure.
Slipping inside the first thing I noticed was the warmth. I zipped up to my chest but was not able to easily get much futher up, well at least yet.
Pulling my shoulders into the sack I slid my arms to my side and then just sat in the present.
I started with the exercise as prescribed. Toe itch, toe itch, toe itch, bells, bells bells, bells, car, car car… Each time my mind flitted away to a task or other thought I just refocused on my breathing.
After about ten minutes I noticed my anxiety was rising a little. My nose was blocked and my mouth was dry, similar to my first time in a sleep sack. I decided to simply concentrate on my breathing. In and out, in and out…
I did have some fleeting feelings of worry and the wish to get out. As they rose I said to myself, I have this hour just for me, sit it out, let’s see where it goes…
Interestingly the anxiety dissipated. I started to just feel the nice warm feelings of my skin against the neoprene. I felt calm and relaxed. Just listening to the sounds and enjoying the warmth.
I think I stayed like this for about 20 minutes when I decided that it was a nice time to come out.
Slipping out was a great experience and I felt the most calm and relaxed I have in a very long time. Best was that my back was feeling great and I was not having pain. Happy pup!!!
The additional task for me this week has been concentrating on my pup self as I masturbate…
Having been on an additonal permission based task this made each wanking session a much more intense experience.
Normally I will wank 2-3 times a day. I see something I like? Wank. Nice thought about pup play and my training, wank.
Having to request permission has mean that I have only wanked twice this week (and I have permission for tonight!!! Looking forward to this one).
What I’ve noticed is that I am able to get to the edge and just stay there. I was horny going to bed last night. As I didn’t ask for permission to cum I didn’t. But fuck getting close to the edge, it was interesting to let it all slowly die away as I drifted towards sleep.
When I did have permission to cum I found the combination of having not cum for a few days plus my special mantra:
I worship you Sir, I worship your cock. My cunt belongs to you, I belong to you.”
Let’s just say the orgasm is so intense… Much like a long weekend of fucking but not cumming till the very end… Amazing feeling.
Most interesting was that after I shot my load I was absolutely overtaken with laughter. I was pissing myself laughing. Who the fuck knows why but it really was a great feeling and release…
I’ve enjoyed my tasks this week Sir. They have offered me peace and true relaxation.
Nuzzles.
Gpup